Luck is when preparation meets opportunity.  Luck runs out.  Preparation requires organization.  Opportunities can be seized or passed on.  I failed to recognize that when all of these truisms are incorporated into your daily life they can help you be the person you want to be.  

I was presented with the opportunity to give my favorite artist, Flying Lotus, a gift of my appreciation for his musical production abilities.  I failed to follow through with this plan, even after I had been ranting to him for days (on Twitter) about how I desperately wanted him to have my gift.  

He- as well as A-Trak, Tiga, Miike Snow, and Yelawolf- performed a set at Terminal 5 in Manhattan this past Saturday for HARD's Turkey Soup event; Crista was quick to cop tickets almost 2 months before it was to happen (I was broke but she knows how obsessed with Flying Lotus I am)... that's an example of good luck right there.  We (Crista, her sister's Natalie and Caitlin, and long-time friend/Natalie's boyfriend Maritz) managed to catch Flying Lotus at Electric Zoo this past Labor Day; and after seeing him, I confirmed that he is my favorite musical artist of all time.  In fact, his set at Electric Zoo was so phenomenal and emotionally riveting that, for the first time ever, I had no control over my thoughts and feelings... I was under the hypnotization of Flying Lotus' melodically induced euphoria.  

Having felt this way, I wondered what I could possibly do with the experience... cause I definitely was not just going to let it be a temporal satisfaction.  So I promised myself that I would cover his first publicly released beat tape, July Heat.  I had 3 months to finish the job whilst going to classes, making it to work on time, and visiting Crista whenever possible; it felt very possible to accomplish.  Sadly, my annual Seasonal Affect Disorder kicked in right around the same time that I decided to take on the task of covering all 19 songs on the beat tape.  This killed all of my confidence, pertaining to all aspects of confrontation.  

Fortunately, the depression never lasts longer than 2 months, and I was able to pick up my slack and make a last minute push to get the CD done.  So for the past month, I secluded myself to the infamous shed where I (and some friends) make good music under sun or moonlight.  Each song took hours to develop and was incessantly reviewed with my overly critical ears.  The fact that I was so meticulous and cautious with what I wanted each final product to sound like made the process that much more difficult (after all I was trying to provide reciprocation to someone who I call the best musician in the world).  After tons of re-do's and reviews, I was only able to finish 9 out of the 19 songs... and only had 1 week left to visit the other 10.

That one week was the most hectic week of my life, so far.  Most of it was taken up by compositional edits while only two days were designated for recording; they were Friday (Nov. 26) and Saturday (Nov. 27).  I crammed and crammed, downing 5 hour energy drink after 5 hour energy drink, and finally completed my recordings in time for the bus to NYC which left at 4 PM [taking about the same amount of time, Crista was working on an elaborate cover for the CD case while I was recording].  Being sleep deprived and delusional, I fell asleep on the bus when I was supposed to be mastering the tracks.  Fu**ing retard I am.  We (Crista and I) arrived at 9:15 PM knowing that Flying Lotus was to perform at 10:55 PM.  During this short time frame, Crista and I had to make it from Chinatown, to St. Marks Place (to pick up the hostel room key and Natalie's credit card from Natalie- for will call ticket pick-up), to 103rd Street, and then back down to 56th Street for the show.  Sounds impossible right?

Well, we made it to the hostel at around 10:40 PM after realizing that we couldn't pick up the will call tickets due to the fact that Crista did not have Natalie's ID... so that saved us a bit of time.  I had about 30 minutes to master 8 tracks (which meant that I would miss some of the show, but I would still make it there in time to catch him performing).  Almost forgetting the most important part of the gift, Maritz had to run around looking for a Duane Reade Pharmacy so that I could have a CD to burn the tracks onto; but he was quick and got it to me by the time I was done giving the tracks a rough master (thanks bro).  Natalie, Maritz, and Caitlin left for the show... Crista and I stayed to wait for the CD to finish being burnt.  

This part sucks.  

So about a year ago, I ignorantly rested my laptop on the trunk of my car before deciding to go on a drive.  I went on the drive, and came back wondering where my laptop was.  I then remembered that I had set it on my trunk, so I decided to retrace my tracks... to no avail.  Luckily, my Dad found it on the windshield of my neighbors car... somebody had picked it up off the street and set it on there for us to see it (thanks).  Well anyways, it f'ed up my CD-Rom pretty badly, and I suffered the consequences when trying to burn the CD ---> the CD wouldn't eject.  Being infuriated to the nth degree, I almost threw my laptop out of the 6th floor window of the hostel... but then decided that I would just take the loss, learn from it, and still go to the show. 

Crista was pissed, and I was extremely disappointed in myself.  But whatever, it's not like Flying Lotus was actually looking forward to receiving my gift, right?

Wrong.  We arrived at around 11:15 PM and were able to catch 25 minutes of FlyLo's deep, flawless, and personal set.  At about 11:45, he closed down his set, turned the volume down, picked up a mic, and walked to the top of the stage.  His next words were, "Hey New York, how's everybody doing?  So I hear that somebody wants to give me a gift?".  

I was awestruck in every sense possible, and having mistakenly digested some Molly in hopes of making good out of a bad night, I was sentimentally destroyed.  I tried making my way to the front of the really really really tight crowd to yell that I was sorry, but I couldn't even get passed the Berlin wall of men in front of me to do it.  I was hopeless, and extremely saddened.  It made me wonder if any of the times that I yelled "I LOVE YOU STEVEN" even mattered to the guy.  Shortly after, he asked the crowd if anybody was rolling... and then peaced out.  

I felt so bad that I wanted to vomit, but that wouldn't have been ideal, so I just teared up and shook my head in disappointment.  We stayed for the rest of the show, I tried to enjoy it the best I could, but raving just seemed so artificial and worthless at this point.  

When the night came to an end, and Tiga closed it up, Natalie was running around asking bouncers if they had any idea where Flying Lotus would be.  They refused to help at first, but then one of them sympathetically gave in and told us that he would be leaving through the back on 55th Street (thanks dude).  Crista and I rushed out to find that there was a barrage of fellow SAS (Singapore American School) graduates hanging out on the sidewalk.  We stopped to chat with a couple of them for a bit and then sprinted off to the back exit in hopes of catching him before he left.  Sadly, one of the guys out back told us that we missed him by about a minute and a half... shouldn't have stopped to chat with those peeps on the sidewalk.  

So the night came to an end and we hopped on the train and ventured back to the hostel.  The unfortunate mishap made for good conversation, but I was still so shaken by it that I still don't even know what to think of it.  And to top it off, I mistook Destructo for A-Trak at the end of the show... I ran into him and blurted, "Great job A-Trak!".  What's even more stupid is that I tried to shake his hand while he had papers in one and luggage in the other... whatever.

Steven Ellison, if you ever read this (which is extremely doubtful) I want you to know that if there was one person I would like to meet and establish a strong friendship with in this world, it would be you.  I am deeply apologetic and gratefully respect the fact that you went out of your way to accept a gift from me. I will see you at the next show, this time, with 2 gifts... and I WILL get them to you, no matter what.  I hope you get nominated for a Grammy of some sort this year, you deserve it more than anybody will ever know.

*I also visited my good friends Chris Hussey (LA resident and obsessor who also graphically designed the photo on the home page, as well as the cover art for my digital copies of the mixtape) and Raehanna Reed (his gf) in DC on Sunday and ended up staying until Tuesday night when I said I would leave on Monday... that may have screwed me over a bit but still I've been best friends with the guy since high school- and friends with him since 2nd grade- so it was nothing short of great to see him and his girl. :) :) :)


I'M DISTRAUGHT.